Are you Sexually Misunderstood?
Many people come to sex therapy seeking to
be understood by their partners,
to understand their partners, and/or
to be able to break down barriers which are currently preventing them from connecting with partners.
In my work as a sex therapist for almost two decades, I have discovered there are dominant communication styles when it comes to our pleasure, which show up and prevent us from getting the connection we deeply desire.
This quiz will help you discover your current pleasure communication style and help us to uncover the techniques to improve how you show up in your intimate relationships, and get the pleasure and connection you long for!
What's your pleasure communication style?
You're a natural giver, lover and pleaser! Your gift of perception however may be your downfall if questioned. You have a tendency to over explain things, over-communicate and thus may appear demanding. You are intelligent, yet you often feel dismissed and misunderstood. Your journey may be to learn to identify emotions as they live in your body, to give your mind a rest. and to trust your partner/s.
You're a giver giver giver, always one step ahead of your partner, ready to please and do! What's not to love? Sometimes however you can be overly apologetic if things go awry, or you may do things you don't want to do, or even worse, do things you think others want without asking them first. Your journey may be to heal the trauma that gets in the way and forgets to set boundaries for yourself.
You are eager and playful! You love to be lead by your partner, and are open to trying many things. Your darkside may need a lot of feedback and validation as you may not trust yourself. You may end up doing something you don't want to do for fear of looking inadequate, or being punished by your partner. Your journey is one of self discovery to learn to trust your desires first while still continuing to be open to new experiences.
You know what you are feeling and you are not afraid to say it. You will speak your voice no matter the issue. You do not hold back. Who has time for that anyway? But your gift of gab may render the ability to hold your tongue or regulate your tone somewhat non-existent unless you learn to slow down, check in with yourself, do body scans and recognize where emotions live in your body so you can get more in tune with your inner soothing agency for you and your partners as well.
You're warm and available to your partners, and they deeply feel your presence. You are comforting. However, you don't get your needs met because you hold back your voice either because you are afraid of being judged, stepping on your partner's toes, or fear saying it wrong. Your journey may be to spend some time learning ways to be expressive and creative with your words, developing new vocabulary so you can share yourself more openly and fluidly.
You are the brains of this endeavour, cererbal and keen. Who doesn't love a smart mind like yours? And, it also may be by design. In other words, you may have over developed your intellectual and anylytical side to avoid feeling the uncomfortable gamut of feelings. Too much intellect and not enough play may leave you with nothing much to say in matters of the heart. Learning to be vulnerable, present and in your body is someting you may need to study.